Everyone is so excited to talk about narcissists…they love throwing the term gaslighting around as if it were a packet of free M&Ms…
If you know…you know…if you don’t…you’ll shout it out at the top of your lungs begging for the world to pay attention to you!
I’m in my third abusive relationship…with a sociopathic narcissist and man do I fucking love him. Would die for him. When people say that, they dont really mean it, would they die for the person?
Unless you’re living death, you dont know what it means to sacrifice your sanity, your health and your well being for someone who couldnt care less if you lived or died.
It takes a special sort of person to watch you unable to breathe while still screaming at you and telling you how you’re dramatic! How you dont listen! How YOU DO THIS! Text book!
A year ago, I fought the fight for the narcs saying that it wasnt their fault and if they knew that they needed help and got it they would have a chance…
A year later and completely broken, I’ll tell you now…run…save yourself and run!
The only thing you’ll do if you stay is create a secret blog called ‘Confessions of A Part Time Whore’ because that’s what he called you when you got mad about his close female friend…close…
Before you are named anything else that he is…run…and dont look back…narcs will kill you and tell your rotting corpse that you did it to yourself!
You’re not a whore…you’re just stupid for listening to a mother fucker who thinks that using the age old tactic of calling a decent woman a bitch to rattle them, will deviate any sense of accountability that they should take for being pieces of shit!
Do I hate men? No
Do I think these woman are wrong? Not even in the slightest!
These ladies who own their bodies and sexualities…the girls “who do them”! Those woman are empowerment…they embody what it means to be unapologetic! They are hot! They know it! And they are successful for it!
If you have integrity, be honest about what you do! Whether you’re working the pole or the court stands…work it! Dont hide what you do or who you are, that’s what strips you’re dignity away! If you are unashamed, you’re honest about what you do, then whoever crosses your path knows what they are getting into.
Here’s where the problem comes in…men who are so quick to ogle woman, drop their jaws at the sight of anyone who can wear a skirt, and do full neck reversals when a boob is partially revealed…those are the same men who call their loving partners “whores”.
My ex, spent hours trolling the net for naked images, pictures of cum shots on women’s faces or bodies…these alternative models…all in the name of art!
He couldn’t remember a single thing I asked him, got mad to the point of dicking out everytime I called him out on anything, and played the victim 24/7! I’d try to get hold of him for hours, to later be shouted at and told that he was busy working…all while he obsessively searched for pictures of these woman with his hand down his pants.
Boys will be boys right? Wrong! As if him making me feel insignificant wasn’t enough, he would refuse to acknowledge my social media accounts because there were “ONLY” pictures of me…I was seeking attention and I was acting like a whore.
My page was filled with him, my family, his pets and some of myself…fully clothed! Somehow this was really trashy behavior. He had a knack for befriending woman who enjoyed shagging married men…they loved causing trouble between us and he loved the attention.
In an attempt to cut me down to size, he lost his shit and proceeded to tell me what a whore I was over the next hour because I sometimes wore skirts and because I had slept with someone else after my previous relationship ended. Apparently, that put me on the same scale as people who purposefully wreck homes, flirt with taken men and have no qualms about actually sleeping around…secretly.
I bought it! I felt so guilty! He was right, I was a tramp!
Except I wasn’t! I just wasnt anorexic enough, or photoshopped enough or had enough make up on. I didn’t display my boobs or bum enough…I wasnt sexy enough to “compete” with these woman. The fact that I still got attention despite not being any of those things only irritated him further.
So here’s the crux…screw the double standards! If your man thinks it’s cool to drool over every woman ever but not have enough time for you, then they can take their lazy asses and see if those woman would take care of them the way that you do!
If he is enjoying more explicit content than that one time your bra strap slid out from beneath your spaghetti top and he asked you to stop being a tart…then he can take his childish balls elsewhere, because Queens dont have time to raise their Kings!
On a blog titled ‘Confessions Of A Part Time Whore’ …you must be assuming that I’m about to dish the dirt on that one time I went full on ho and was like…”oooo I’m going to fuuuuuuuuuuuck that…” and then I did…
No!
This is about that time I sat on my lounge couch at 22:55 staring at the phone screen opened to my piece of shit ex-boyfriend who broke up/took s break/broke up/taking a breath/whatever from me so that he could lie, see his female friends who are actually promiscuous and treat me like crap without consequences…
So basically everything he did in the relationship except now more openly while continuing to make me feel bad for stuff that I never did. The entire disastrous relationship was apparently my fault. And even if I were lying right now…no one person can solely screw up…he doesn’t think he even has a tiny part to play.
Whatever, I dont care anymore, except of course I do!
So I sit staring at this screen because sanity is no longer an option! I have to go out of my way to he a stalker so that I can prove that this dip shit is actually a lying piece of crap! Here’s the worst part…I dont believe for a single second that he is messing around with other pekple even though he has the freedom to.
I just think he is enjoying the attention and the ladies he gets to interact with. No matter how faithful he is, he does have a roving eye and loves a challenge, it’s more just about proving that he can score…he has some insecurities.
He read my last message at 18:33…the next message I received from him was at 22:21…and he had come online numerous time in between then!
He sends this stupid message about things that dont even matter, completely jovial and unapologetic. This sack of beans just lies all the time. Hangs around with females who are skanky and only date married men and have made advances in him in front of me, and then joined him as he belittled me in front of them for calling him out on it.
Why does it matter? We arent together anymore? Well yeah, except we kind of are when he feels like it, and I’m too loyal and stupid to stop playing this game.
Confessions Of A Narc Addict 