#empathy #narcolepsy – Confessions Of A Narc Addict

Narc-pathy – the idea that a narc has that is delusional and filled with ideas of empathy when in fact it is is controlling and harmful… narc victims often suffer the result of this by believing that they care…

With my whole heart I do not believe that narcs are like this on purpose or that they are in any way aware of it. My ex narc would have moments of clarity in which he would realize what he has done and been doing…but would run away…and while running his brain would change the narrative to how it was my fault and then the triangulation would begin!!!

It was one hundred percent a lose lose situation!!

Coming back to the nar-apathy, it is so important to watch out that you dont belong just like them! Introspection is one of the things that non-narcs are blessed with…so when the slipping starts…you must be aware.

A friend who has been in some relationships that were emotionally abusive reached out to me to convince me that my relationship was slowly killing me, and for as amazing she is…she does it in such a negative way…a trained pattern of behavior.

“Why dont you do this?!”

“Your hair is frizzy”

“Do it this way!!”

“This is why you cant get it right”

“You waste time by just working hard.”

“You dont know how to do it,you need to be more like me…”

It started feeling like I was dating my ex again. As sweet as she is, she is actually controlling and difficult and consistently running from boredom because she has yet to settle into her own life.

I love her to death but her constant questioning of my decisions and actions starts waking up the ptsd…and that’s the thing about not being one of those…you need to step back and support people without criticizing them.

I work 18 hour days…I dont have the time to do nothing or sit on social media but I’m surrounded by people who think it’s alright to dictate my life or sense of self.

Before you start judging freely, make sure that you are not at all being an asshole and a narcissistic person trying to break an already broken person.

The cycle will continue…dont be of them!!!!

Narcolepsy- the acute disorder whereby the person’s brain is so “drowsy and sleepy” that it misses the red flags and devotes his or her sanity to the narcissist.

“Not the official dictionary meaning. Intended for literary purposes.”

I sit back and look at the smoke and ashes, the only proof that exists proving that the last few months of my life really happened.

The very existence of this page shoes just how long ago I was meant to say goodbye, Dua Lipa says it best “let’s at least agree to go our separate ways…”

But we never did….

I look at the destruction in my life, caused mostly by terrible and abusive relationships. While this one was far less physically abusive, the mental games and emotional abuse was far more taxing on my physical health than any other period ever was.

I maintain that I dont believe they he didn’t intentionally and that his psychosis was a big part of it to blame. The sad truth though, is that no matter what and to what degree…he was set out to annihilate me, and I think he may have succeeded.

I miss him all the time, in between the moments of overwhelming sadness are moments of exceptional hate for him and the people who aided him.

I dont understand why or how or what, but those questions arent limited to the actions or the dizziness needed in order to allow it to happen. The thing is that I am going to spend such a long time confused by this ordeal and i am depending on that to keep me as far away as possible from the monster that lurks beneath.

All this hurt later…my narcolepsy still leaves me with Stockholm Syndrome!